" A Dad’s Dilemma" - Genesis 21:8-21 - June 19, 2005

They say it’s a man’s world, but after hearing this story that saying becomes a myth. God told Abraham to "Do whatever Sarah, (his wife) said." For some men that may not be any surprise since you have been doing what your wives have been telling you all along. On the other hand, for those who believe that the man is the head of the house, we have a perfect example here in the Old Testament where God sided with the woman.

The story is packed with twists and turns and the events that take place seem odd for the people who belong to the community of faith. The story reads like, "As the Word Turns," or "The Guiding Light." There is tension between a husband and wife, conflict over a favorite son, jealousy, abandonment and anger. Ultimately, however it is a story about trusting God and being faithful.

After I was discharged from the service I went to work with my father who had his own business. It happened to be in the mid 1970’s when the economy was in a recession. Business was slow and I was forced to look elsewhere for a career opportunity. I was torn between leaving my dad and starting a new career. The bond between a father and son can be very strong. I have always looked up to my father and I hold him in high regard.

The day came when I left the family business and took a position as a purchasing agent in a hospital. It was one of the most difficult days of my life. If felt as though I was abandoning my father. Sometimes we have to make choices that are very painful. Thankfully my dad understood and gave me his blessing.

Abraham had to make a choice between his two sons. Ishmael was his first born son and his mother was Hagar, Abraham’s servant. Sarah, Abraham’s wife was unable to have a child and therefore gave Abraham permission to have a child with Hagar. Later however, God intervened and Sarah and Abraham had a son who was named Issac. But while Sarah saw the two children together, she became jealous and wanted Hagar and Ismael out of the way. So Sarah tells Abraham to send them away. It is at this point where God told Abraham to do as his wife has requested.

Abraham is torn, completed devastated. Should he obey God and send Ismael and Hagar away or protect them out of a father’s love? Fortunately God promised Abraham that Ishmael will become the leader of a great nation in Egypt. So, Abraham chooses to obey God and sends them away, honoring Sarah’s request. However, the plot thickens. After they had been sent away Hagar runs out of water for her son and leaves him to die under a bush. When things get critical she cries out to God for help and God responded by providing a well. Hagar and Ismael have been cast out by Abraham but they are not forgotten by God.

So, what does this story mean? What does Abraham’s dilemma have to do with us?

First of all, the story clearly illustrates that God is close to the faithful who are faced with personal crises and dilemmas. God is listening and God cares. God does not abandon us in the midst of turmoil.

After Robinson Crusoe was shipwrecked and stranded on a desert island, he began to take stock of his condition. He drew up two columns. In one he noted what was bad about his situation and the other what was good about it. He was cast on a desolate island, but he was still alive. He had no companions, but he had food. He was wearing only rags, but because of the warm climate he didn’t need clothing. He had not means of defending himself, but there weren’t any wild beasts. He had no provisions on the island, but the disabled ship had floated close enough to shore so he could retrieve supplies.

By the time Crusoe had inventoried all the good and bad points of his situation he concluded that there are no situations in life so miserable that one could not find something for which to be grateful. Although stranded and separated from the rest of the world, Crusoe was still aware of the presence of God. (from God’s Little Lessons On Life for Dad, Honor Books)

Secondly, the story reminds us that God does not have perfect people to work with. Those in the faith community were human beings who had to face some of the same decisions we do. We do what is right, we follow, we listen, but there are still moments when we have to make difficult decisions.

Presidents have to make many difficult decisions. No matter which way they choose they are going to be criticized by at least half of the population. When Harry Truman became president, Sam Rayburn took him aside and gave him some advice. "From here on out you’re going to have lots of people around you. They’ll tell you what a great man you are. But, you and I no you ain’t."

None of us are perfect either. Yet, it is through we imperfect human beings that God chooses as His leaders and disciples.

Third, God cares about all God’s children. Not only did God provide a well for Hagar and Ishmael, an angel of God called to her and told her not to be afraid. The angel also told her to hold on tightly to her son. Ironically, the name Ishmael means, God Hears. God was totally aware of her plight and did not abandon her. Hagar could represent all the unwed mothers in the world, all the single parents, all the abused women, even all the "other" women. God responds to those who are abandoned. God cares about the refugees of the world. God intervenes in the lives of people even outside the community of faith.

And to the men I say, the next time your wife tells you to do something it could mean that God is supporting her. Remember Abraham, and how he listened to his wife. Like Abraham we too will all face difficult decisions. Nevertheless, God is with us, close at hand. God loves us all: our fathers, our sons, our step-sons, our step-fathers, and our adapted children. Whether close to home or far away, God is with us all.

Dr. Keith Wagner, St. Paul’s United Church of Christ, Sidney, Ohio