"The Battle Within" - Romans 7:15-25 - July 3, 2005

Recently we all watched the BTK serial killer stand up in a court room and tell the court how he strangled and murdered ten people. It was a chilling testimony of a man who seemed to have absolutely no remorse. He showed no emotion and described each individual scenario in total detail. His tone of voice was so matter-of-fact, he could have been talking about taking out the trash. At one point he said, "I knew exactly what I was doing and even selected my victims."

If he knew what he was doing then why did commit these murders? He appears to be an intelligent man, so he must know that what he did was wrong. To take a life is against the law and morally wrong, yet he was a cruel, cold, killer.

Sometimes we do things that we know are wrong but we do them anyway. Why do we gossip about other people when we know our words may hurt someone? Why do we cheat on our taxes, when we know our actions are against the law. Why do we say mean things to those we love when we know their feelings will be hurt?

Paul says that we do these things because of sin. He says, "I do the thing that I hate because of sin." Paul says that sin holds us back, preventing us from doing what is right. In other words we are enslaved to sin. It is sin that causes us to gossip, hate, cheat, lie, steal, goof off, lust, abuse, etc.

A word of caution here. Remember Flip Wilson? One of his famous sayings was, "The devil made me do it." Whenever he behaved badly he blamed the devil for causing him to act in a certain way. But, Paul would say that is a cop out. Those who follow Christ need to remember who they are. We live, no longer doing what we want to do, but what God wants us to do.

Unfortunately there is a battle going on within us. For there are times when our mind says, "This is not what you should be doing," but our body lines up on the other side saying, "Ahh, go ahead, what’s the problem?"

We all live with the tension of our minds saying one thing and our bodies another. Our mind may say, "Don’t eat that food, because it is fattening." On the other hand, our bodies might say, "It’ tastes good and you should enjoy the finer things of life." There is a constant internal struggle going on and frequently there is a conflict between our minds and our bodies.

What can save us from this dilemma? How can we ensure that we will do what is right and refrain from doing what is wrong? Who will help us to overcome this battle within?

Paul says it is none other than Jesus Christ. To live "in Christ" means several things. First it means that sin can no longer dominate us. When sin was in charge we did anything we felt like doing. But, unfortunately we weren’t free.

In the Great Divorce, C. S. Lewis tells the story of a ghost who carries a little red lizard on his shoulder. The lizard constantly twitches its tail and whispers to the ghost, who all the while urges him to be quiet. When a bright and shining presence appears and offers to rid the ghost of his troublesome baggage, the ghost refuses. He realizes that to quiet the lizard, it would be necessary to kill it. He therefore is conflicted since killing is not what he is about.

The ghost begins to reason with the shining presence. Perhaps the lizard need not die but instead might be trained, suppressed, put to sleep, or removed gradually. The shining presence responds that the only recourse is death. Finally, the ghost gives permission for the presence to twist the lizard away from him. As the presence flings the lizard to the ground, its back is broken. In that moment, the ghost becomes a real man, and the lizard becomes a beautiful stallion. The man leaps onto the great horse and rides off into the sunset. Now he is free.

We begin to overcome the battle within us when we first get rid of that "sin" (or lizard) that is controlling us. It may be an addiction. It may be another person. Perhaps it is some habit. Breaking away is the first step.

Paul said, in chapter six, not to give sin the time of day. In other words, our lives are focused toward God and away from self. We do what God wants, and not what we want. Once we have gotten rid of our lizard, we begin to focus on what God wants for our lives. This means there is an intentional movement away from self and toward God.

Third, in Christ, the old life is dead and we are living in the new life. We have been forgiven and now we are free to live in the grace of God. That doesn’t mean we are now perfect and will never make a mistake. It means that our lives are now dominated by grace instead of sin.

During our trip to Maine, we visited Bath, where the downtown is lined with many shops. We were browsing in a gift store and I noticed a very interested glass goblet. It had been hand crafted and was quite impressive. I reached for it to get a closer look but it fell off the shelf and broke into a thousand pieces on the floor. I was embarrassed and told the clerk what had happened. "I will pay for it," I said. But, the clerk said, "That’s okay, don’t worry about it." For me, our lives as people of faith are much like my accident in the gift shop. We journey through life, and sometimes we make mistakes. Like Paul, by the grace of God we continue on.

Dr. Keith Wagner, St. Paul’s United Church of Christ, Sidney, Ohio