“Compete or Complete?” – Genesis 2:18-24 – October 8, 2006

Howard Maxwell gave his four-year-old daughter, Melinda, a book for Christmas. It was “The Three Little Pigs.” As the weeks went by Melinda developed a fixation for the book and wanted her daddy to read it to her every night at bedtime. Maxwell eventually grew tired of the story and had a great idea. He purchased a CD player and purchased an audio version of the “Three Little Pigs.” He showed her how to operate the CD player, all she had to do was push the “Play” button and she could listen to the story.

At first Melinda was fascinated with the novelty of the CD player. It worked for a few nights but then Melinda handed the CD to her father. “But honey,” he said, “You know how to operate the CD player, you don’t need my help.” “Yes,” she said, “But I can’t sit on its lap.”

It wasn’t the “Three Little Pigs” story that Melinda needed, it was the companionship of her father. Companionship is something all of us need. Unfortunately we live in a culture that encourages individualism. We are taught and encouraged to be survivors, totally self-dependent. It’s all about competition, being number one, being first or surviving. We live in an age of “meism,” instead of a society that encourages cooperation, unity and wholeness.

Melinda was lonely. She didn’t need her father to read the “Three Little Pigs” to her, she needed him. Loneliness is one of our greatest fears as human beings. When we are alone we feel sad, helpless, afraid and especially incomplete. What we need are other human beings to be with us.

After God created Adam he said, “It is not good that this man should be alone.” He has no one to share with his burdens or experience the joy of creation. What the man needed was a companion.

The Hebrew word, ezer, is best translated as “partner.” Some versions have used the word, “helpmate,” but that word stretches the implied meaning of ezer. What God intended for the man was a partner, another human being to share life with him. “Bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh” is a phrase that means “kinship.” God did not create a human who was subservient to man. God created a partner, someone who was equal to man.

God created a woman for one reason and one reason only. God created a partner because “It is not good that the man should be alone.” There is no evidence to support the argument that God created the woman to be the man’s domestic helper or slave. Nor does the text suggest that God created woman for the sole purpose of procreation. Besides man had no part in creating woman, therefore he has no control since he was not a participant in her creation. In fact, the woman was created while the man slept. The woman was not dependent on the man for her personhood.

God was concerned about the loneliness of the man and therefore created a partner because without a partner the man was incomplete. This story is not about who came first, but who was missing.

If you are experiencing aloneness in your life you need a partner. Not necessarily a woman partner, but someone to share your burdens, someone to make you complete. I knew a man who had a successful business. It was a business based on a partnership. At one point the two men sold their business and each went their separate ways. But, their new ventures failed. They could no longer compete in the market where at one time they enjoyed a substantial share. They tried to go it alone, but they were too alone.

Mother Teresa once said, “Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty.” There are many ways in which a person can feel lonely. Obviously, to be a widow or widower has to be the most difficult. There is also the soldier oversees who is separated from his/her family or the person who is faced with surgery. Those who are divorced, separated or removed from their families because of work-related responsibilities can also feel very alone.

Since God created a partner for Adam, I believe God creates partners for anyone who is alone. There are some folks who embrace the new partners that God creates for them. On the other hand, there are those who resist the possibility that someone different, strange or new could fill the emptiness in their lives. Joseph F. Newton said, “People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.”

Partnership can come in a variety of forms. Remember, the creator said. ”It is not good that we should be alone.” I am positive that I could not be in ministry without the help of my wife, Lin. She is my confident, advisor, soul mate and best friend. We all have partners that are there for us through life’s difficult times. Some stay with us for many years, while others come and go. God makes sure that we are never alone.

One of my favorite actresses is Carol Burnett. Recently I happened to come across a bit of her autobiography. When Carol was at UCLA she was in a drama group that wasn’t having a great deal of success. One of her professors invited Carol and eight other students to his vacation home in San Diego. The group did a performance of Anne Get Your Gun, for his guests. Afterwards a complete stranger came up to her and said he had admired her performance.

He asked Carol what she intended to do with her life. She had aspirations of going to New York and begin a career on stage. He asked what was stopping her. She told him she did not have the funds. The man then pledged to give her a thousand dollars to get her started. She was reluctant to take the money but he said that it was a loan. If she didn’t succeed she would have to pay him back. He was also prepared to make the same offer to Carol’s partner in the scene from Anne Get Your Gun. Carol then headed for New York and you know the rest of the story.

Carol attributes the start of her career in show business to her silent partner. Five years later she repaid the loan and pledged to never reveal his identity. She said she will always be grateful to her silent partner and what she learned from the experience was to be a silent partner to others.

Dr. Keith Wagner, St. Paul’s United Church of Christ, Sidney, Ohio

Note: A word about verse 24. This last verse seems to stand alone. It certainly supports the partnership of a man and woman. In that day it was customary for a woman to leave her family and marry her husband. I believe, however that this verse also has to do with dependence. In order for a person to have a partner they must cease being dependent on their parents. In order for a man and woman to create a relationship they must be fully bonded to each other and not their parents who raised them. The focus is on a new relationship not a woman as a bearer of children. Also, there is no implication that a person must be married to experience partnership. And, the reference to the couple’s nakedness could be understood metaphorically, meaning that there is a true partnership when two people are free to expose themselves to each other without anything to hide. Given the concept of “aloneness” I believe the text is saying that by opening ourselves to a partner, we not only become complete, a new identity is established as we are no longer alone.