"Do You See What I See?" - Luke 18:9-14 - October 25, 1998

Recently I had a conversation with a friend who was a member of the staff at one of my previous churches. I said that I was aware that the church had gone through a remodeling program. The interior lighting had been enhanced and stained glass windows had been added. "It must really look beautiful," I commented. He responded by telling me that their minister had just been fired and church attendance was the lowest in history. From my perspective I saw a church that was maintaining its beauty and preserving its history. But from his perspective he saw a church in turmoil.

Regardless of the subject no two people see things alike. Some see the negative while others see the positive. Or, like with the two people in our story, one (the Pharisee), saw his goodness while the other (the tax collector) saw his need for mercy. The truth is that the Pharisee was blinded by his pride and ego. On the other hand the tax collector recognized his sinfulness and asked for forgiveness.

It is much easier to boast of our accomplishments or rationalize our goodness than to admit that we have flaws. By comparing ourselves to others, we ignore our shortcomings like the Pharisee did when he said, "Thank God I am not like those people." Just who are "those" people. People next door, people across town, people who aren’t from here, people who make the headlines?

Earlier in Luke, Jesus is having a conversation with the Pharisees about their obsession with following the law and ascribing to traditional practices. There too they are caught up in their goodness and are unable to see themselves as they truly are. He tells them that they must first take out the log in their own eyes before they can remove the speck from their brother’s eye." (Luke 6:42b) Did they see what Jesus saw?

About a year and a half ago I shaved off my mustache. Unfortunately it has created a problem for me that I did not see. There are now some home-bound folks who don’t recognize me when I visit. I have to tell them who I am. A few have asked me to grow it back. They say it makes me more distinguished. This is troubling to me because now my identity is in question. And besides, I really didn’t consider the mustache as making me distinguished. The truth is I grew the mustache because I perceived myself as a radical reformer. Obviously, some of my parishioners had a different perception.

I didn’t shave off my mustache to change my image. I did it to look younger. The problem was that my mustache was getting grayer and grayer. Every day I would look in the mirror and see that I was getting older. By shaving off the mustache I could make those gray hairs disappear. A few months later gray hair started to appear on my temples. It was a humbling experience that has forced me to accept the fact that I have reached mid-life and regardless of how others see me I must see myself as I really am. God, have mercy on me.

The Pharisee tried to raise his self esteem by bragging of his good works. The tax collector said, "This is me, sinful and in need of mercy." He was therefore exalted because of his humility. In other words, transformation begins when we are totally honest about who we are and know that we must turn to God for forgiveness.

To confess our sins and admit our weaknesses is not enough. It is only the beginning. Transformation happens when there is a change in our behavior. We don’t know for sure that the tax collector changed his ways. We only know that he "saw" and humbled himself before God. The Pharisee will never change because he has a distorted perception of himself. The tax collector can change since he was able to see the truth.

A middle aged woman has a heart attack and is taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she has a near death experience. During that experience she sees God and asks if this is it. God says no and explains that she has another 30 years to live. Upon her recovery she decides to just stay in the hospital and have a face lift, liposuction, breast augmentation, tummy tuck, etc. She even has someone come in and change her hair color.

The woman figures since she's got another 30 years she might as well make the most of it. She walks out of the hospital after the last operation and is killed by an ambulance speeding up to the hospital. She arrives in front of God and complains: "I thought you said I had another 30 years. God replies, "I didn't recognize you."

This week the children will be going from house to house, begging for candy. They will be dressed in brightly colored costumes to disguise their identity. When children come to your door whom you know, you won’t be fooled. You can sense their true identity because of how they carry themselves, their stature and personal demeanor. You will go along with their "pretending", but inside you will know them.

We like to think we can fool God. God knows our true identity. We can hide or wear a mask but God knows us. We don’t need to brag about how good we are because God knows us. God wants us to be truthful by acknowledging our sins and humbling ourselves.

Humility is difficult for us since w spend so much time feeding our egos. The more "puffed up" we are the more secure we are. In reality it is a defense mechanism. If we can convince ourselves that we are solid or together we can withstand pain and sorrow. Times of humility, however are our times of the most significant growth. When we are humbled we are totally exposed, our life an open book, vulnerable, ripe for growth and transformation.

A few weeks ago I walked into my classroom at Edison College where my students were anxiously awaiting my arrival. I was nine minutes late. Knowing that the school policy requires students to wait ten minutes for college professors, I knew I had one minute to spare. "We were just about ready to leave," one student replied." Another student said, "Dr. Wagner, you’re late."

I immediately explained that I was stuck in traffic on Interstate 75 where they were resurfacing. That is when another student said, "I knew that so I came the back roads." My excuse then lost its integrity. I then reminded them that I still had one minute. We proceeded on with the class and when it ended the student who confronted me with being late whispered as she walked by, "you were still late."

I was totally humbled by that situation. Those words, "you were late" haunted me. It wasn’t easy being confronted by a student and I had no real excuse for being late. The student was right. Now, I make an effort to be on time. I learned from being humbled. I also learned that since this is a class on counseling that some of my students like to have a few moments of my time either before or after class to share personal issues. That is the real reason I teach, to be of counsel to folks who are experiencing pain and struggle. I understand what Jesus meant when he said, "he who humbles himself, will be exalted." I also understand why the tax collector said, "Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner."

Dr. Keith Wagner, St. Paul’s United Church of Christ, Sidney, Ohio