I have a little sign in my office that reads, "gone sailing." Every now and then I glance at it, especially when I am having a bad day. It reminds me that there are times when I just want to get away from it all and find some peace and solitude. Like everyone else, there are times when I feel discouraged and my memories of my sailing journeys come to mind when I look at that sign.
There is a lot of publicity these days about the "good times" we are in. The economy is robust, unemployment is low and there is much consumer confidence. That may be true, but if it is, why do I see so much discouragement on people’s faces? Perhaps I am more sensitized to it since I myself am in the doldrums lately. As a pastor I get down when attendance is not as good as I think it could be, or when people don’t seem to be responding to my ministry. What I discovered this past week is that I’m not alone. Another colleague was also sharing similar frustration. So, I ended up helping him, but still needed help for myself. I met with yet another colleague who empathized with me and that helped me.
We also discussed this story. And the more I have thought about it the more it has a message for me. This is a message for the discouraged. Here were the disciples, tired and exhausted from fishing all day and Jesus tells them to go back and fish some more. It’s like the woman who comes home from an eight hour day and when she arrives in the doorway, the family says, "What’s for dinner?"
Jesus tells these tired men to go back out to sea and drop their nets. These discouraged and unsuccessful fisherman were challenged to give it one more try. The last thing any of us wants to hear when we are down is for someone to say, "try a little harder." But, Jesus is the teacher, and the disciples have learned from him in the past. Rather than whine or debate the issue they go fishing. God believes in them more than they believe in themselves. God knows there is a well of untapped resources and that we can find strength to continue at the precisely the moment we have given up.
We know what happens next. There is a great shoal of fish. This time, their efforts are rewarded and they have more fish then they have ever dreamed of. They are surprised at the results. Simon Peter confesses that he had serious doubts. He is embarrassed at the lack of faith and calls himself "sinful." He is blessed in spite of his lack of faith.
This is illustrates that God is full of surprises. Just about the time we are ready to quit and throw in the towel, God encourages us to try just one more time. And great things happen. Last summer I had planned to take the youth group on a sailing outing. Every day we had planned, it either rained or there was no wind. We decided to go for it one more time and we had a great afternoon. There was just enough wind and once again God had surprised us.
The disciples learned two lessons that day. That they could find additional strength to try once more and that God is full of surprises. Simon Peter learned something even more important. He learned that he was still part of God’s crew. After their great catch they were told to continue. This meant that Simon Peter could put his embarrassment, his feelings of inadequacy, even his guilt behind him and move forward.
Nothing holds us back more than guilt or feelings of failure. This is what discourages us. Guilt and failure are like fishing all day and going home empty handed. They are like the big one that got away. We have high hopes but many disappointments. Why should ministry be any different? I too have to be reminded that when I am discouraged I still need to keep trying.
Jesus told the disciples to leave their nets and follow. These fishermen abandoned their big catch of the day and "left everything and followed him." After God surprises them they leave it behind and follow. From now on they are to be "catching men."
What does this mean? That we should try harder, realize success, then forget the whole thing? I believe that what it means is that to find something new we have to leave something behind. If we want to make discoveries, find fulfillment, even help others, something has to be left behind. But, it wasn’t so much the catch that was left behind as it was the disciples sense of inadequacy and guilt. What they found was confidence, forgiveness and new found faith in God.
There are times when we all will experience painful moments. Times when we have failed or are feeling guilty. God challenges us to move away from those times with grace and forgiveness. God invites us to return to the deep and fish. It may seem as though our resources have run dry. God, however knows this is not the case. God also knows that by only moving forward can we discover newness and wholeness.
In other words, we have to get our feet wet. Last Thursday evening there was a television movie called "The Flood." The star of the movie, Richard Thomas, believed he and his town folk had failed since the levy they had built could no longer hold back the waters of the Mississippi. The only way to save the town was to allow his own farm to be swamped by the river, thereby relieving the pressure on the town levy and saving the town. Like the fishermen who gave up their nets, he gave up his home and farmland. He had to "leave everything and follow."
Starting over or venturing into unknown waters is not the end but a beginning. God wants us to keep trying, even when discouraged. God wants us to forge ahead, leaving behind all our failures and all our guilt.
The next time you come into my office and see that sign, "gone sailing," you can be assured that I have headed to the high seas, in anticipation of God’s never ending surprises and leaving all my worries and disappointments behind me.
Dr. Keith Wagner, St. Paul’s United Church of Christ, Sidney, Ohio