“If Only…” – Numbers 11:4-20 – October 1, 2006

I have many friends my age who have already retired. They had a career where you put in thirty years and then you are done. Since I am still working I sometimes feel jealous. There are times when I find myself saying, “If only.” If Only I had stayed in the Navy I would be free and enjoying a pension. If only I had chosen a teaching career I could move somewhere south and enjoy the sun instead of enduring the cold of winter.

I am sure that you also find yourself saying, “if only, I had done this or that,” life would be better. I would have everything I need and want. I wouldn’t be experiencing the problems of the day.

This is exactly what the Israelites were saying to Moses. “If only we had meat to eat.” “Surely, it was better for us in Egypt.” The manna that God provided for them in the wilderness was not good enough. They remembered their time in Egypt when they had great food to eat. They had a roof over their heads. They didn’t have to live in the wilderness with so many uncertainties.

Everyone laments over the “good ole days.” We remember the days when life seemed simpler. We remember not having a lot to worry about. Someone always took care of us. But, we also forget. Life then was really no different than today. There were many challenges and problems. The Israelites forgot that while they had meat to eat, they were also in slavery to the Egyptians. They were not free. They lived in bondage. Their identity as God’s people was overshadowed by another culture.

When I was in the Navy I had to go where they told me to go. I had to follow orders, wear a uniform and live in a system where someone else virtually owned your life. Had I been a teacher I would have had the drudgery of doing lesson plans, grading papers late at night and getting up early in the morning.

The Israelites forgot that God had liberated them from Egypt. They were now bound for the promised land, only at this point in their journey things were a little difficult. Their faith was being tested. Consequently they complained. God was angry and just about to get rid of the rabble rousers in the group when Moses intervened.

What do you say “If only” to? What do you crave? Is it more money? Is it more stuff? Is it a better job? How does God respond to those who are saying, “If only?” Perhaps we say these things because we are jealous. We want what others have. We believe we deserve better.

One time a wealthy man died, apparently without leaving a will. According to law, his estate was divided among surviving relatives through a public auction. During the auction, three distant cousins who had fought for years began to bid, often competing with each other. This only drove up the price. Toward the end, the auctioneer held up a dusty framed photograph, but no one bid on it. Finally, a woman approached the auctioneer and asked if she could buy it for a dollar, which was all she had. She said she had been a servant for the wealthy man and she recognized the picture. It was the man’s only son, who had died trying to rescue a drowning child.

The auctioneer accepted the woman’s dollar, and then the woman went home with her picture. When she started to place the photograph on a table beside her bed, she noticed a bulge in the back of the frame. She undid the backing and to her amazement, there was the wealthy man’s will. On it was an instruction, which read: “I bequeath all my possessions to whomever cares enough for my son to cherish this photograph.” (from God’s Little Lessons On Life For Dad, Honor Books)

The man’s descendents wanted it all but got nothing. On the other hand, the man’s servant did not crave anything and received it all. Jealousy enslaves us. We are not really free when we believe we can’t survive unless we have what others have.

To be people of faith also means to live in the wilderness. It means there are uncertainties. It means we don’t know what the road ahead will be like. But, we trust that God will provide. Moses felt an overwhelming sense of responsibility for the welfare of his people. He complained to God that he could not carry all their burdens by himself. But, Moses was not thinking of himself, he was concerned for his people. God then told Moses to gather seventy elders and they would share the burden so Moses did not have to carry the burden by himself.

Dennis Conner was the skipper of the Stars and Stripes, which won the America’s Cup in 1987. The press canonized Conner but he attributed the win to his crew of eleven men. The sixty foot craft is not made for rough seas but by working together the eleven man crew endured the toughest possible test of a boat and crew. It took strength, finesse and acrobatics to complete the race.

This is no less true of a congregation. The only way a church can survive the challenges of life is to work as a team. God designed the Church to sail in rough seas, irregardless of the dangers. When you are in the middle of an ocean, challenging rough seas you can’t look back and say, “if only we had a bigger boat” or “if only we had more experienced sailors.” All you can do is move forward, working together as a unit.

Like the Israelites who found themselves in the wilderness without the comfort foods and security of Egypt, a church sometimes finds itself in perilous times. To lament and say “if only” changes nothing. Everyone has to carry their weight and contribute to the mission.

Finally, what God gives us is not always what we want. The Israelites wanted meat but received manna instead. They were forced to live with something that was strange and unfamiliar, and yet their livelihood depended on it. This unusual, strange substance required some getting used to. Whenever times change we have to make some adjustments and not be afraid of the resources God gives us.

When Lin and I moved to Sidney I wanted a house with a basement. A basement is a place you can escape to, putter and stockpile all your stuff. Instead we settled for a two-story home that has no basement. There have been times when I have said, “If only I had a basement I would have a place for a workshop.” I grew up in a house that had a basement and that’s where I spent a great deal of time as child and youth, playing with my friends. But, the house we bought seemed right for us. It was one we could afford. We live on Well’s creek and two years after we moved to Sidney, the creek flooded over its banks, totally flooding out all the basements in our neighborhood. But, since we had no basement we had no losses.

God gives us what we need. God always provides. Just as God provided for the Israelites in the wilderness God will provide for you.

Dr. Keith Wagner, St. Paul’s United Church of Christ, Sidney, Ohio