"Life’s Unfair" - Luke 15:11-32 - March 21, 2004

Recently I was listening to National Public Radio where a woman was talking about the language of children. One of the first words a child speaks and understands is the word, "mine." In the process of finding their way in life they learn very quickly what is theirs. Children begin staking out their territory and claiming ownership to things they want to keep for themselves.

What this illustrates is that we humans tend to value our rights before we value our relationships. We are all acutely aware of the rules, especially when it comes to what belongs to us. We are more concerned with the neighbor whose dog craps on our lawn rather than the neighbor who has just lost his/her job.

In our society we place a high value on how hard we work and the things we have been able to accumulate as a result of our efforts. We admire responsibility, especially those who don’t waste or spend money carelessly. Consequently many folks have trouble with the story of the prodigal son. He went off to a far country, squandered his inheritance and ended up with nothing. Since he ended up feeding pigs many would say he got what he deserved. But, when he returns home he is welcomed by his father, much to the chagrin of many who read this story.

I had a man in a former church who told me on several occasions that he didn’t agree with this story. How could the prodigal be forgiven for what he had done? The man took the same position as the older brother who complained that the prodigal was given a welcome home party after "squandering his property with prostitutes." The father, however forgives the son and tells the older brother that he should celebrate the fact that his younger brother, who was lost, is now found.

Most of us resonate with the older brother. We see this as an act of unfairness. The prodigal son broke the rules. The prodigal son wasted his inheritance. Meanwhile the older brother did everything right. He even argues that point. "All these years I have never disobeyed you and you never once gave me a party." The older brother is angry and he is also jealous. Life, for him, was not fair.

When I was in the seventh grade I had an experience with a Math teacher that changed my thinking about what is fair and what isn’t fair. The teacher believed in competition as a learning tool so he had us go to the blackboard and see who could solve problems the fastest. I was the fastest problem solver in my class. It almost became a joke since none of my classmates could ever beat me.

One day we were about to begin the competition but the teacher changed the rules at the last moment. He decided that everyone else would be given a head start. When he said that I immediately shouted out, "That’s not fair!" The teacher took issue with me and said, "What do you mean, that’s not fair, I’m the teacher and I make the rules." When I objected he started toward me. As he was walking down the aisle he tripped on an electric cord that was attached to the overhead projector and fell down. Now he was even more angry and took his anger out on me. He shook me and said, "How dare you complain about what is fair and what is not." After that I was sent to stand in the hall.

The incident shook me up. That day I learned that life is not always fair. Ok, so my teacher changed the rules, but the teacher had 25 other students to think about. I had enjoyed many moments of victory. There was no doubt who was the fastest in the class. It was time for me to take a back seat and give some others a chance. Like the older brother in the story I had followed the rules but felt I was being treated unfairly.

What the teacher did reminds me of what the father did in the story of the prodigal son. On the one hand the father had a son who wasted his inheritance and left home. On the other, he had a second son who always did the right thing. What the father has to do was keep everything in balance. He loved both his sons and wanted them to love each other.

The older brother was just as lost as the younger one. The prodigal was lost because he thought he could do whatever he wanted without a care in the world. The older brother was lost since he had everything he wanted, but couldn’t see it. He was so consumed with fairness that he had no appreciation for his lost brother who had returned home.

This brings us to the main purpose of the story. God is concerned about those who are lost. Prior to the story of the prodigal son, Jesus told two other parables about the importance of finding the lost. He reminds the disciples of the joyful experience of finding the one lost sheep and finding the one lost coin. To recover that which is lost is exceedingly joyous. "Just so, I tell you, there is joy before the angels of God over one sinner who repents." (vs. 10)

The older brother (and we too) have to get over out feelings of being "do-gooders" and realize that we should celebrate whenever one who is lost returns home. That’s difficult to do since we view God as a God of judgment instead of grace. In this story, God is clearly portrayed as a God of grace. Rather than whine about what is fair, God wants us to celebrate the homecoming of the lost.

Relationships are much more important than following the rules. No matter how bad the prodigal has behaved, he is still the father’s son and the father loves him. At the same time, no matter how good the older brother is, he is his father’s son and he loves him just as much.

Sometimes our pride can get in the way of experiencing the grace of God. We also miss out on God’s grace when we fail to be part of the celebration. All of us, whether we see ourselves as the prodigal or the older brother, live in the grace of God. It is not the following of rules we should live by but the building of relationships.

Last week I made my annual pilgrimage to Florida to visit my parents and my three brothers. During the week we had not one, but two family cookouts. Since I live so far away from the rest of my family I sometimes feel like the prodigal son returning home. There is always excitement when the family gets together. The occasion is always festive and there an endless supply of great food. Most families get together during Christmas or Easter but our family has to get together when I am able to break away.

When the prodigal returned the father did more than just give him a hug and forgive him. He threw a big party. He outfitted his son with new clothes and prepared a great feast. "Let us eat and make merry," he said. We don’t know if the older brother joined the party. We do know that when one who is lost returns home it is supposed to be a time of great joy and celebration.

Dr. Keith Wagner, St. Paul’s United Church of Christ, Sidney, Ohio