In his popular book, "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus," John Gray, describes the syndrome of how men go to their caves to cope with stress. It is one of the biggest differences between men and women. When women cope with stress they are overwhelmed and emotionally involved. Men, on the other hand, withdraw, they go to their cave.
A cave for men is not necessarily a place as it is a state of mind. It could be the basement or the garage. It is generally a condition where a man temporarily loses awareness of everything else. There he becomes distant, forgetful, unresponsive and preoccupied. If the man cannot find a solution to his problem he remains stuck in his cave. He is powerless to come out and give any attention to his partner or anyone else for that matter.
In today’s story we have a man, a Gerasene, who has withdrawn to a remote place in society. "He was among the tombs." He was totally possessed, unable to relate to other human beings. We have no idea what drove him there. Perhaps it was guilt, perhaps failure, perhaps the inability to cope with life in general. This is a classic example of a man in his cave, unable to function in society.
The fact that it was a man is incidental. This possessed soul could have been anyone who tried to solve their problems through escape and withdrawal. The fact that he is a Gentile and in a far away place further illustrates that this individual is as alienated from God as one could be. And the situation seems tragic and hopeless as the man cannot even speak for himself.
Like a man who has escaped to his cave, the man in the story has cut himself off from society, unable to communicate, totally absorbed with his own problems. There is an internal "war" or struggle going on and he has no power to overcome it.
One evening last week I was watching the NBA playoffs. My wife tried repeatedly to get my attention but I was so focused on the game I didn’t respond. She did what all smart wives do when they want our attention. She waited for the advertisements and shouted my name. Although John Gray says this is a male trait there are those who challenge his sexist theory. One thing is sure; there are times when we can shut others out because we are so absorbed with our own agenda.
The "legions" that occupied the man in the story were whatever kept him from relating to the outside world. They were his excuse to escape, the influences that caused him to withdraw. Something forced him into this pathetic state. And only the intervention of the love of God could bring him back out into the open.
Although the story of the Gerasene seems extreme it is not unlike the teenager who shuts his or herself in their room, refusing nourishment or any social contact. They don’t want any interaction. They reach a point where human contact is there greatest fear. Out of defense they close their door, close the curtains on the window, turn off the lights and bury themselves under a pillow. For them there is no escape and there way of coping with whatever troubles them is to totally withdraw.
When I was five years old I wanted more than anything to play football with the big kids in the neighborhood. But, because of my small stature I was told to sit on the sidelines so I wouldn’t get hurt. I would crawl under the bushes, put my head between my knees and close my eyes. The only way to cope with my disappointment was to shut myself out from the rest of the world. Finally the game would end and everyone would go home. Only the voice of my mother, calling me for dinner, or my father arriving home from some trip saying, "guess what I have for you," could awake me from my depressed state. In any event I did not have the will power to leave my "cave" on my own.
As desperate as the man in the tombs was he couldn’t escape the presence of God. Jesus goes to him and calls the legions from his life. They leave and are banished forever. At the end of the story we find the man returned to wholeness. He is liberated from whatever consumed him and free from his cave.
Over and over we witness the transformation of human life, through therapy, through rehabilitation, through medicine, through some healing or cleansing process. Unfortunately, many of us return to business as usual because we return to the same environment as we came from. Without a new direction or significant change in our lifestyle we are destined to repeat the same escape again. The only way for the man to be really free was to return home and tell others that God had intervened in his life. Now he is called to a new purpose in life, one which will enable him to cope with the stresses of life and live in the open.
This is the story about a man who was dying. His life had no purpose or meaning. God’s liberating power called him from his abyss and set him free. The fundamental goodness and grace of God called him to newness. For him there was no turning back. Only by continuing in a new direction could he remain whole.
God is able to penetrate the walls we build and chase the demons from our lives. There is no cave unknown to God. We can escape the world, but we can’t escape the love of God. Following that love and leaning on the everlasting arms of God rather than our own knees will keep us alive.
Dr. Keith Wagner, St. Paul’s United Church of Christ, Sidney, Ohio