"No Struggle, No Life" - Genesis 32:22-31 - October 17, 2004

This past week I helped a family as they attended to their aged mother who is dying. Just about the time it appeared she would slip away, she continued to hold on for several more days. Most of my conversations were with the daughter who kept a vigil beside her mother’s bed for almost two weeks. She had many questions and couldn’t understand why her mother seemed to hang on in spite of her failing health.

The daughter was wrestling with many of the questions that we all ask during the process of death and dying. Did her mother live a good life? Will she go to heaven? Had she been a faithful daughter? Did her mother’s life have meaning and purpose? Was she suffering? How can the body linger on when so many of its systems are shut down?

She was tired, in need of rest and someone to talk with. She hoped she had done all she could to give her mother quality life in her last years. She wondered if she had done the right thing by placing her mother in a nursing home, or had she acted out of her own self interests? The last two weeks was a constant struggle. The daughter took few breaks and there were many times when she felt alone. She often wondered how she could possibly find the strength to go through it.

She was in a struggle with life. It was physical, emotional and spiritual. It was a spiritual quest which caused her to question the meaning of life and challenged her faith. It was physically exhausting, a journey that took every ounce of her available energy. And it was painful, as she watched her mother slip away while she was totally helpless to reverse her mother’s dying.

I believe this is similar to the experience of Jacob. He too struggled with life. He was wrestling with guilt because of the strained relationship with his brother, Esau. He was tired of traveling. He was emotionally taxed as he struggled with a way to make amends with his brother. Consequently he came face to face with God. On the one hand God wanted him to submit. On the other hand, God wanted him to be free. Jacob was struggling, wanting to be exonerated and get on with his life.

We all have our struggles. Right now the country is struggling with the selection of a new president. Its been a long process and many are growing weary. To be on the campaign trail for such a long period of time must be exhausting. Quite frankly, I don’t understand how they do it. Imagine millions of people challenging your integrity. Then there are those who say mean and hateful things. It’s a classic knock-down drag out.

You have your struggles too. Some are just trying to make ends meet, constantly making changes in your household budgets, striving to keep your heads above water. Others are struggling with the problems of being a parent. How much freedom do you give an adolescent, for example? Where should the boundaries be? When should you let go and let them find their own way? Others are struggling with a relationship. When do you quit giving and start receiving back? How forgiving should you be? Still others are wrestling with health issues. It’s getting so expensive that many people put off surgery or scale back medication.

Life is a struggle. We yearn for better days. We want our freedom, our sanity, and peace. Jacob had to struggle alone. No one could solve his problems for him. No one could take his place. But, Jacob wasn’t alone. God was with him. In fact, it was God who he wrestled with. Jacob hung on and even got wounded in the process. He said to God, "I will not let you go unless you bless me." Ultimately God capitulated and Jacob received the blessing he sought.

I believe that Jacob’s struggle reminds us that we are never alone in life. No matter how emotionally or physically challenged we are, God is with us. But, God doesn’t let us sit on the sidelines. God expects us to be a participant. God engages us. God challenges us. It’s not that we are in competition with God for God is struggling with us every step of the way.

Jacob’s struggle was a mixed blessing. On the one hand he was wounded in the process. From that time on he had a limp. On the other hand he was forgiven, and he was also now free to reconcile with his brother, Esau. Jacob found the forgiveness he sought. However, it didn’t come without a struggle.

I talked with my parents in Florida last weekend. They have survived three hurricanes in the month of September. For days they were without power, struggling to keep cool. Their yard was covered with tree limbs and debris so each time they had to clean up the mess. They told me that after every hurricane they were able to go to their church and get a hot lunch. There they had friends to help them past the time and give them support. What my parents had to help them get through that struggle was community.

This is not just a story about Jacob as an individual struggling with God one on one. It is also a story about "Israel," the community of faith. Just as God had always been with them in the past God will be with them in the future. The community will prevail in spite of its struggles.

Jacob also changed. The struggle transformed him from "Jacob" to "Israel." His life would be different after that. His family could settle down in Succoth. No more wandering, no more living with the guilt of betraying his brother. True transformation occurs following a period of struggle. Perhaps you could say we don’t change without a little blood, sweat and tears.

When I was a freshman in college I wrestled on the varsity wrestling team in the 145 pound weight class. Wrestling practice was grueling. It was all I could do to limp back to my dormitory after practice. Everything ached. I didn’t win any matches that year but I had the opportunity to be part of a team. At the same time I wasn’t doing that well academically but I survived.

In retrospect it was the discipline of wrestling that enabled me to work harder the next three years and graduate. Before I lacked confidence in myself to be successful. I was self conscious and unwilling to take risks. That struggle changed my life. I didn’t wrestle during the rest of my college years, but the experience shaped me as a person. From that time on I worked harder on things that matter. My faith was strengthened too, because I learned to "wrestle" with the important issues of life.

Dr. Keith Wagner, St. Paul’s United Church of Christ, Sidney, Ohio