“Mary, Martha and the Boys” – Luke 10:38-42 – July 22, 2007

I originally entitled this sermon, “Overwhelmed and Underfed.” However, after a careful exegesis of the story I have determined that, like everyone else, I was giving the traditional meaning of the story instead of the meaning that Jesus intended.

Like most other preachers I had intended to focus on the busyness of our lives, how, like Martha, we are overwhelmed with the chores of life. Just as Martha was obsessed with doing things, attending to the needs of the day, we too are obsessed with errands, tasks and details, instead of taking the time to listen to God. Unlike Martha, who was busy in the kitchen, Mary was with Jesus and the disciples, learning and listening.

Jesus appeared to criticize Martha because she wanted Mary to help her. But we can’t criticize Martha because she was hospitable, something Jesus encouraged his disciples to do. Hospitality enriches our faith. It is important for the community of faith to gather together and break bread, essentially what we are doing today by observing communion.

While it is true that Martha was distracted by her many tasks I believe we have missed the real reason she was aggravated with Mary. She said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself?” Martha was aggravated at Mary because she was in the wrong place. She was with the men instead of being in the kitchen. In other words, her role as a woman was to be behind the scenes preparing a meal, not learning about the scriptures and growing in her faith.

Mary had broken a cultural norm. She had ventured into a traditional “male” realm. Martha represents those who want to perpetuate the sexist tradition of separating life tasks into male and female. Martha is like Mrs. Cleaver, (of Leave it to Beaver) or Harriet, (of Ozzie and Harriet) back in the 50’s when the woman’s place was in the home, doing housework, raising the kids, preparing meals for the “breadwinner” of the family, her husband.

How dare Mary enter a man’s world, reading scripture and learning what it means to become a disciple? That is not the way it is supposed to be. She was out of place. She had deserted her “female” duties. Consequently, Martha was angry. It reminds me of how my mother was troubled because my daughters have careers. My mother has a college degree in what else, Home Economics. She never worked outside the home because a good mother stayed home and took care of the house. She doesn’t understand that her grand-daughters can have careers outside the home and can still raise their children.

Times have changed. Most all women are in the workplace. Housework is much simpler and microwave ovens and fast-food have made eating meals much simpler. Many men that I know cook and do housework. At the same time, women can pump gas, change oil and mow grass. In order for us to grow it is sometimes necessary for us to break from the norm and venture into new territory.

I have the privilege of serving our association by being on the committee that licenses ministers who are not ordained. Many of our churches cannot afford ordained pastors and are served by lay pastors. They are generally retired, students, or bi-vocational. Recently we interviewed a pastor who has served the same small congregation for 28 years. He stated in the interview that the church was declining and he was getting tired. We suggested that perhaps he might consider serving a different church. Perhaps he needed a new challenge or go where there is more potential. He is comfortable there and likes the people. But it could be that he is stuck in a place that is never going to change and folks who will never let go of old traditions. For example, the congregation was still singing from a hymnal that was published in the 1930’s.

Mary had broken from her traditional female role. Perhaps she was searching. Perhaps she wanted more out of life. Although it doesn’t say, I believe that Martha may have been jealous. While Mary was with the men learning the scriptures she was stuck in the kitchen. There was no reason however for Martha to be jealous. After all, “She welcomed Jesus into her home.” She was acting as a disciple, showing hospitality, which is also a true characteristic of discipleship.

Much to Martha’s chagrin Jesus supported Mary’s participation in his bible study. “Mary has chosen the good part, which will not be taken away from her.” How much more non-sexist and inclusive could he be? Jesus welcomed Mary’s involvement in a traditional male circle. He even stated he would do nothing to deny her that opportunity.

In the previous story of the Good Samaritan Jesus demonstrated how the Samaritan broke the cultural barrier of helping a Jewish man in crisis. There he was emphasizing how love needs to reach beyond nationality and religion. Here he continues that same theme by demonstrating that the role of a disciple is not limited to men.

To be a person of faith means to be a person who is inclusive. I shutter when world leaders use words like “mankind” instead of “humankind.” Language should be inclusive and that is especially true in the church. I am offended when women are restricted from traditional male occupations. For example; many funeral homes are managed by men. My experience with funerals is that women make excellent funeral directors because of their ability to listen and their instinct for compassion. I am very grateful that here at St. Paul’s Church that women comprise half of the church council, that women serve communion, that women lead worship and that the church has women ushers.

For Martha, her traditional understanding of the place of a woman in society was limited to the kitchen. Therefore, she was distracted since Mary had assumed a different role. Unfortunately, traditions too often distract us from the real meaning of faith. Take communion for example. How we do communion is not important. Whether we use wafers, or bread, wine or grape juice is not the issue. The issue is that everyone present is included. God’s grace is not limited to a select few.

Henri Nouwen stated in his book, In the Name of Jesus, that he felt as if he was in a rut in his life for more than twenty years. Nouwen seemed to have it made, with an outstanding academic resume and noble field of study. Yet, he said, “As I entered into my fifties, I came face to face with a simple question. Did becoming older bring me closer to Jesus? After twenty-five years of priesthood, I found myself praying poorly, living somewhat isolated from other people, and very much preoccupied with burning issues. I woke up one day with the realization that I was living in a very dark place.”

Nouwen asked God to show him where he wanted him to go and the Lord made it clear to him that he should leave his prestigious role as a distinguished professor and join the L’Arche communities for the mentally handicapped people. In Nouwen’s words, “God said, ‘Go and live among the poor in spirit, and they will heal you.’” So he did. He faced numerous lessons, some painful, a few humiliating, but in all, he learned how to be a humble servant and a compassionate, caring friend. Nouwen came to realize that it’s not work that makes a person, but rather, relationships which make us fulfilled.

For me, the real key to this passage is Jesus’ words, “There is need of only one thing and Mary has chosen the better part.” What did he mean by the “better part.” I believe he meant that Mary had chosen to listen, to yield from her agenda and discern what God wanted her to do, just as Henri Nouwen had discovered. So often what we want and what God wants are in tension with one another. What God wants for us does not always make sense. It usually involves risks. It was risky for Mary to associate with an all-male group. It was risky for Henri Nouwen to leave his comfortable position and be in ministry with the L’Arche community. No doubt, many of his colleagues disapproved. Others, like Martha, will not be happy with us when we break from the norm. To do that which is non-traditional and break way from acceptable norms does not make us popular.

I don’t believe that God is saying that you have to quit what you are doing and completely change your life. Nouwen was a priest, a single man who does not share all the responsibilities of raising a family. He had also become a very successful author. On the other hand, to discover the “better part,” that Mary had found we too have to break away from life as usual. Consider a tradition, a habit or everyday ritual that is holding you back. God doesn’t want the expectations of others to control our lives.

To choose the better part is to recognize that every individual, man or woman, is different and need our blessing, not our judgment about what they want to do with their lives. To choose the better part is to be inclusive, opening our lives to people who are different, especially women, who are equal in the eyes of God. To choose the better part is to have the courage to be non-traditional and have the freedom to use our talents and gifts in places or situations where others might never go.

Dr. Keith Wagner, St. Paul’s United Church of Christ, Sidney, Ohio