"The Child Within" - Mark 10:13-16 - October 8, 2000

I was sitting in an airport one morning in Chicago, waiting for my flight to Dayton. I had a two hour layover which gave me time to read the paper and study my sermon notes. As I sat there I observed other people around me. Some were reading, some were napping and some were eating. What really caught my attention was the fact that no one was smiling. There were expressions of impatience as people looked at their watches. I noted many frowns and tired faces. People didn’t talk to other people. Everyone seemed to be anxious to get to their next destination.

In the midst of all the gloomy adult faces I noticed a young child, kneeling by her seat and coloring. She was happy and occasionally sought approval from her Dad who was sitting next to her. She seemed bright and very enthusiastic about her ability to create a colorful picture. She was very relaxed and didn’t seem to have a care in the world. Oh, to be that young again, with no agenda, no pressure or responsibilities.

Do you suppose we adults are too grown up? We take life very seriously, working hard, calculating every decision, trying to make the best of our time and resources. We don’t like surprises and we are driven by success and productivity. We have many important tasks to complete, goals to achieve as we strive to be responsible human beings.

But then we hear Jesus say, "Whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will never enter it." In Luke (7:31-32), Jesus confronted the Pharisees by telling them they lacked the spirit of enthusiasm and they had no feelings. He told them also they should be like children who play, who dance and show their emotions. And here, he tells his disciples that to be child-like is the only way to inherit eternal life.

I believe there is a child within us but we are reluctant to give it permission to surface. Our work ethic does not promote a sense of play. We are praised for how hard we work, how much money we can make or how much we can produce. There is no praise for simply enjoying life.

For many of us our inner child has gone into hiding. We suppress enthusiasm and our emotions. We don’t express our true feelings, learning somewhere along the line it is better to keep our mouths shut. We’ve learned to fear the consequences of doing the wrong thing or making a mistake and therefore we are terrified of failure. We worry about what others think, therefore inhibited and afraid to be adventurous or spontaneous. We are serious and competitive, doing all we can as we live up to the expectations of others.

A recent survey, sponsored by Zero To Three, a non-profit child-development organization, has discovered that many parents have unrealistic expectations for their children. For example; some expect a child of 15 months to know how to share his/her toys. And 61 percent of those parents surveyed still condone spanking as a regular form of punishment. This despite research which indicates that forms of corporal punishment can be very harmful.

Are we too grown up? Apparently Jesus thought the disciples were since they spoke harshly to those who were bringing their children to him. They didn’t believe that children could do anything to enhance the kingdom. They cost a lot, they were in the way. Jesus, however disagreed as he accepted their giggles, their awkwardness, their freedom, and their naiveté. Jesus welcomed them into his life, altered his busy schedule for them. After all, the kingdom of God is not something to be earned, it is a free gift. "Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." (Matt. 18:3)

We have learned to evaluate others by their success, their money or their status. Praise comes from winning, not participating. And there is no praise for being authentic or having fun. The result is we all look like the people at the airport, sad and depressed, with no feelings of wholeness or joy. True joy is realized by allowing the child within us to come to the surface.

To deny the child within is to miss the joy of being alive. And we suppress our inner child by being in control, being over-responsible and neglecting our real needs. To restrain our inner child is to be false and fearful. Therefore, we are inhibited, denying our true feelings and making our love conditional

In his book, "Healing the Child Within," Charles Whitfield, M.D., defines the child within as "that part of us that is ultimately alive, energetic, creative and fulfilled, our real self. We need to be spontaneous, expansive, loving, giving and communicative. We need to play and have fun. We need to be open and trusting, surrendering ourselves to others and the universe."

How can the child within us come alive? First we need to be free to express our emotions and feelings. If you’ve ever been to an Ohio State football game you know how the crowed responds when a good play is made. It could be a tackle, a catch or a ten-yard gain. People stand, throw up their hands, scream at the top of their lungs. The sound is deafening. The next morning you could be sitting in church and the choir could sing a wonderful anthem, or the organist could play a great offertory. But, there is no response, no hands clapping, no shouting, nothing. These folks are no less dedicated than the athletes on the field, yet they receive no response. For some reason, we think we have to put a lid on our inner child and hold back.

Secondly, we need to give ourselves permission to explore, to create, to play and to dance. What’s wrong with having fun, with allowing our child-like desires and yearnings to run amuck? To this Jesus would say, "Go for it." One of the most popular places to visit in our country is the Mall of America. Why? It has great shopping, more than you could imagine. But, in the middle of it is an amusement park, complete with rides and activities. I believe that at the core of every human life there is a child within that wants to experience the freedom of flying through the air and doing something thrilling. If you visit the Mall of America and don’t spend time in the amusement section you will simply find yourself walking around in one big circle. You have to take a short-cut through the amusement park to give your inner child an opportunity to come to the surface.

Third, we need to be open and accept others who are different from us, giving them the freedom to be themselves as well. We have a family from Japan, living next door. When you enter their home you take off your shoes as is their custom. Their diet is a bit different from ours and they often speak in Japanese. At the same time, they have gone backpacking, bicycling, camping and visited many major sites in the United States. They have taken advantage of every opportunity to experience our culture. They are Buddhists, but their faith has not prohibited them from enjoying life to the fullest. They have learned more about us than we about them. They will be returning to their homeland soon and we have talked about the fact that they will leave their home which has 2,500 square feet and move into apartment of about 400 square feet. That does not bother them, since they know how to be in touch with their inner child and experience life to the fullest.

And fourth, we need to trust. The reason we fail to liberate the child within us is fear. We fear being laughed at. We fear being labeled. We fear failure. Unfortunately, we fear being our true, authentic selves. Are we too grown up?

A new principal was checking over his school on the first day. Passing the stockroom, he was startled tosee the door wide open and teachers going in and out, carrying off books and supplies. The school he came from had a check-out system that required the teachers to indicate what supplies they had obtained. Curious about the practice here he asked the school custodian, "Do you think it's wise to keep the stockroom unlocked and to let the teachers take things without asking?" The custodian responded, "We trust them with the children, don't we?"

Jesus wants us to trust in him and let the child within to be free. It is the only way to receive the kingdom of God. He wants us to give the child within the freedom to express itself, being creative, having fun and sharing emotions and feelings. He wants us to accept others who are different realizing that God makes us all and wants us to be genuine, authentic human beings. The end result is absolute joy and the opportunity to expereince life in its fullest.

Dr. Keith Wagner, St. Paul’s United Church of Christ, Sidney, Ohio