"The Gift of Wings" - Luke 2:41-52 - December 31, 2000

I was saddened by the news that a very good friend of mine died this past week. Nancy didn’t have an easy life. For most of her life she lived alone in a very small house. She was a bookkeeper and unfortunately she died Christmas Day, her birthday. When she was 18 she became pregnant. Since she lacked adequate resources to raise her child she gave her up for adoption. This was a very difficult and painful memory for her.

About 30 years later the child discovered her mother and they were reunited. They became pen pals at the very best but nevertheless established a relationship. I remember the renewed feelings of guilt my friend experienced since her daughter was raised by others. But, Nancy was a very loving person, who frequently helped others when she barely had enough to take care of herself. I admired her for her courage to entrust her young daughter into the hands of strangers.

Most of us who have children were able to raise them ourselves and we never had to worry about putting them up for adoption. But, at some point we are confronted with the reality of letting them go, pushing them out of the nest, giving them their wings. That takes courage and can be just as difficult and painful.

This story is about Mary and Joseph, who are confronted with giving Jesus his wings. Strangely it follows the story of Jesus’ birth earlier in the chapter. Nothing is said about his childhood. Instead the gospel focuses on the next significant factor in a child’s life, giving him/her their wings. Mary knew this would happen someday because the angel Gabriel announced to her that her son would someday reign over the house of Jacob. She was perplexed by it all but resolved to "let it be."

Everyone of us who has children, whether our own, step-children or adopted will face a time when we have to let them go. From the minute they come into our life we are preparing them to live theirs. Giving our children their wings is part of the cycle of life. But many resist and when they do the child never learns to fly.

Once upon a time, far, far away there lived an old chipmunk. He was a master gardener, and many chipmunks came to work with him and then went off to start gardens of their own. He believed everyone would want to be a gardener, but, alas neither his daughter nor his son showed the slightest interest.

It would seem impossible to work this out because the more the old chipmunk boosted gardening, the more the little chipmunks resisted. The daughter chipmunk said that one of her friends who had graduated in gardening was now catching beetles for minimum wage and another was digging tunnels for rabbits, which was exactly what he did before he learned gardening. The son chipmunk said nothing at all and just went off to gather wild berries, which he ate or gave away.

Then one day the old chipmunk’s wife gave him some seedlings to plant. The old chipmunk was amused and later irritated because they grew so slowly. Sometimes he would pull on them so that they would get the idea, although he always taught his gardening students not to do that.

One morning his wife called him over to inspect the new plants more closely, and he saw that indeed each was delicately formed and quite lovely except for the bruised places where he had pulled on them. "They are not like I thought they would be," he said to his wife. "I guess they decided to be themselves." His wife answered, "Chipmunks aren’t all alike either," she added. (Abe’s Fable, from The Illuminated Life, by Ab Arkoff)

We have a tendency to hold our children back, to make them in our image, to set expectations for them that are not in sync with who they are. Rather than give them wings, we clip them, wanting to be in control.

What we find here in Luke are two birth stories; the first is about how Jesus was born in a manger in Bethlehem. This was his humble beginning. The second birth story is his visit to the temple. There he began to realize his true identity and thus he experiences a new birth. Notice that he responds to his mother by saying, "Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house." Meaning of course that he was beginning to realize his true identity and spread his wings. This becomes his second or "spiritual" birth, a time away from his parents, striving to be who he was.

Although Jesus is wrestling with his true identity it is not quite time for him to totally separate himself from his parents. Out of respect for his parents he returns with them and puts his studies on hold. Nevertheless, in the next chapter we find Jesus, now 30 years old, embarking on his ministry. The details of his childhood and youth are not recorded. Instead we are given this one critical incident of the day he spread his wings.

I recently saw the movie, Home Alone II. The climax is when Kevin has to put his trust in an old bag lady as his surrogate mother. On that day Kevin put on his wings. Remember John Boy, from the Waltons? He too, received his wings when he went to New York to become a writer. His father wanted him to stay at home and work on the mountain like all the others. But, John Boy had a dream to be a writer. And after some struggle and pain, he left and fulfilled his ambition.

It’s not only parents who have to give their children wings. There are other life situations in which people need to let go. You may be holding someone back because you are harboring an old grudge. You can’t forgive, you can’t forget. Forgiveness is another way we give people their wings. It is a gift, an act of grace. It is a conscious act of giving another person their freedom.

There are other ways to give people wings too. Perhaps a debt needs to be canceled which is a life-long burden for someone you helped years ago. Perhaps someone didn’t hold up their end of a agreement and you are unwilling to let them out of their contract. Perhaps someone has shamed you or committed a grave sin. As long as we judge them and do not accept them unconditionally they will never get their wings.

My wife wanted her mother to give her an old sled that was in her mother’s basement. It was a gift to her on her 6th birthday. But, her mother was afraid that her sister would be jealous and refused to give it back to her, afraid that the sister would be angry. Several years passed and her mother finally agreed to give it back. The sled was recently resurrected as a Christmas decoration by the fireplace. My wife is happy, her mother has finally given her her wings.

Giving others their wings is an act of grace. It is the same grace that God gives us. God does not hold us back for anything. God forgives, God loves us unconditionally. God wants us to be free and be able to fly.

Dr. Keith Wagner, St. Paul’s United Church of Christ, Sidney, Ohio