It’s no secret that my favorite hobby is sailing. I find nothing more relaxing than spending an evening on the lake, listening to the waves splash against the hull and a warm breeze flapping the sails. What really makes it all worth while is to have my wife with me, sharing a private, quiet, romantic evening on the water.
The summer is quickly slipping away and the opportunities to go sailing are becoming rare. Last Wednesday evening I asked my wife to go with me since there would be few evenings left to spend on the lake. She was very obliging. If she went however, she would miss the first church choir practice of the year. I must confess that I pondered over the two choices. My wife was totally supportive of my decision and left the choice up to me. The sky was clear and there was a breeze, perfect conditions. We headed for the lake.
We had dinner in New Bremen, about two thirds of the way to the lake. The wind was subsiding and I looked at my watch. My wife could still make choir practice and I could greet the choir at their first rehearsal. I was feeling a little guilty and asked my wife if she thought we should go to the church. Again it was my choice. I had visions of being on the lake in a dead calm. I then decided to scrap the sailing trip and return to Sidney.
Every day we are faced with choices. What or who will get our undivided attention? What is number one in our life? Had the wind not decreased I most likely would have gone sailing. As I reflect on my decision that evening I wonder if I make all my decisions on the conditions of the wind. Do external conditions influence me to the point that I am incapable of making a decision based on commitment and faith? Do I select my priorities based on the flow, rather than my beliefs?
What is it in your life that gets your number one attention? Do your leisure activities, hobbies and personal activities blow like the wind against you, leading you away from the things that God would say are more important? Does family matters consume all your energy and resources? Do you find yourselves pulled in many directions knowing that something or someone in your life will get short changed? Are you like me, just going where the wind blows, instead of pursuing your beliefs?
The choices that we make affect our well being. I wonder if we set ourselves up for disappointment and grief when we are obsessed with certain options. That when we put our heart, mind and soul into something that yields no personal fulfillment we live with guilt, shame or a feeling of failure. The end result is stress or addictions and the inability to cope with unmet expectations.
We live in a culture which overwhelms us with options. Who is number one in our life? Here in Ohio, the Ohio State Buckeyes are rated number one in pre season football. If they don’t succeed in winning all their games there will be millions of people who will feel a sense of shame and disappointment. Coach John Cooper may loose his job and the city of Columbus will be in mourning. Unfortunately, the things that consume our time and energy can also bring us much grief.
Jesus is saying that to be number one is to be his disciple. Disciples don’t sit on the sidelines. Disciples are active participants, practicing faith, using their gifts and making sacrifices. Jesus is demonstrating the need to make decisions that will result in eternal happiness and personal fulfillment. He is trying to save us from making choices that can only result in instant gratification or give us a false sense of security.
In a recent issue of Homiletics, (Sep/Oct l998), there is a story about a woman named Elenor Boyer. She is a 73 year-old woman from Somerset County, New Jersey. Last November she won the state lottery with winnings of $8.5 million. Ms. Boyer feels she has all she needs to live on so she is giving all of her winnings away. Just three weeks after she won she gave almost $6 million to her church. The rest has been given to charitable organizations. She is using her fortune as a disciple of Christ by helping others.
For Ms. Boyer the number one priority is giving to others. Giving is what drives her. Make no mistake. Ms. Boyer is not penniless. She has calculated the cost of living our her retirement. She has all she needs but is giving away winnings by practicing selfless generosity. As a member of the multitude she has come forth to be a disciple.
Jesus also tells us that when presented with a choice his disciples are to choose God over family, by telling us to "hate" our families. What he meant by that is that our families deserve our love, but God deserves it even more. Jesus is not suggesting that families are unimportant or that we should live our lives by detaching ourselves from them. He is simply saying that they are not to be worshipped as God is worshipped.
In my college class I have a number of young parents. The only way they can get an education is to place their young children in daycare. Some of them feel guilty and feel that their children deserve more of their time. Careers, education, personal goals often interfere with the needs of family. Like Jesus says, when we are building towers we have to take calculated risks.
My grandfather was a minister. After 50 years of ministry he retired. Incidentally, he didn’t sail, but he did fish now and then. When my grandparents retired my grandmother vowed that now that her husband was no longer in ministry he would spend every minute with her. She had had enough of calls in the middle of the night, meetings, sacrificing time together so he could attend to the flock. From now on he would be with her. On the one hand I understood her need to be first in his life. For many years she had stayed in the background supporting his career. Unfortunately, my grandfather, who had great skills in relating to people and teaching the faith, did nothing but sit in a room and "be" with my grandmother. My grandfather lived 9 years longer than my grandmother. But, after she was gone he didn’t change. He had become a recluse and remained alone in his room the remainder of his life.
Family responsibilities can overwhelm us. We feel responsible for our kin and guilty when we have neglected our obligations. But by being totally dependent on families we miss opportunities that could lead to personal growth or enhance the faith. Without the freedom to live our lives, pursuing our goals and establishing relationships beyond the "clan" we may live a life that is not fulfilled.
Every choice we make has a cost. If I am obsessed with sailing at the expense of my ministry I have underestimated the long term personal fulfillment I will receive. Last Wednesday I made my decision on the condition of the wind. Perhaps God had calmed it to help me make my decision. But, it would have been better if I had made that decision because of my beliefs.
When we returned to the church I noticed that one of our trustees was watering the front lawn. He had obviously chosen to sacrifice his evening for the church. About 30 minutes later another parishioner came by to make a repair. He too had sacrificed part of his evening to help the church. These two men had made a commitment and the number one priority in their lives was very clear.
That is not to say that the church is the only thing that deserves our commitment. There are many needs and people who can use our help. The cost of discipleship is paid in many ways. For some it is the redirection of time and energy. For others it is a change in vocation. And for others it is shifting our personal resources from one priority to another. Jesus is helping us with priorities. And his mission can only be continued with fully committed disciples.
Dr. Keith Wagner, St. Paul’s UCC, Sidney, Ohio